And before I knew it, I have already lost interest in making this world a better place. Shit.

When I first graduated from jc I thought I would definitely do something beneficial to society and the world in general. Something related to education, because I believe that is the most important. Now that I think of it... Damn, I don't feel it anymore.

I really am not that interested in a path of passion. Honestly, I really don't feel like working hard. I feel like I should just enjoy life, pick up new insight and try to enjoy along the way. I think there is a way to enjoy working hard, and that's how much you overwork. But its really relative. At times, I really enjoy staying in camp although I admit work sucks.

I just feel like chilling out, and maintaining status quo once in a while. I'm not the kind to do extra, I would rather do what I'm doing perfectly well, in the time allocated to me. And when I'm done - leave me alone. I prefer to be in full control of my work hours, as compared to running an endless race to climb up the corporate ladder. I still am clinging on to the hope that it isn't hard work, its ability - something that time cannot make up with. In other words, overtime every day doesn't give you anything.

I need to that ability in the remaining few years of education I have. Perhaps an overseas degree isn't what I want, after looking at a harvard student do work under me today. I was utterly disappointed. Perhaps harvard cannot produce what I'm looking for, but a average school with the right course and people, can. Actually, there are a lot of opportunities at my doorstep, or is there?

I need to start talking more to people. That means a few late nights and empty evening schedules... -_- how to find sia. Then again, please please guys, spare me a few hours out of your busy schedules.

I'm honestly dying out... And its pretty ridiculous compared to how chill everyone else around me is.

I guess it is due to my own incompetency and lack of discipline... But then again, there is absolutely no reason for me to be motivated and I cannot stand doing things without a purpose.

Defending singapore is a purpose... But you really can't label everything we do with this purpose. Its so indirect, and in the first place, what has it got to do with an nsf corporal!?

http://picsofaznstakingpicsoffood.tumblr.com/

SO fucking EPIC.

When I started to try to do the things I wanted to do, I knew that I'm about to be on my own...

Now the feeling really sets in, when there's a million things i would love to attend but unfortunately can't because of the commitments I gave myself.

And every gathering I miss will, in the long run, set me further apart. Slowly but surely, life is gonna get a lot more lonely.

Its a little frightening because this is only a scaled down version of what could possible be in a few years time, where everyone is really moving straight ahead in their own directions... Because this place waits for no one.

At the very least there's gonna be a few years of tertiary education to enjoy. I know people have been telling me how "stressful" it gets... Comparing it to A levels. Honestly, I still want to make mine the best possible.

Because after that, life is gonna suck a lot more...

mannnnnnnn